Today “Dani’s kewl brother Nick” IMed me. I almost peed in my pants as
I reminisced about our last conversation. I asked if D squared was
home. He said no.

Liz and I went out to dinner and then to her youth group meeting. It
was interesting. They were fun and Regan was there and the youth
minister wears converses, baggy shorts with a chain for his wallet, and
different colored socks. I adore him. And Judaism and the sects of
Christianity are similar in various ways, so it was easy to participate
in the discussion. I also balanced spoons on my face, realized that I
cannot count, and Liz and I rapped to Kanye and sang to Kelly
repeatedly- much to everyone else’s dismay (except Kevin’s, of course).

Liz and I are open about being bitter. In the discussion we talked
about how you’re not supposed to hold grudges. I hold a lot. (first
grade sentences rock my world.) I don’t mind bearing the burden of
these grudges, either. I don’t believe that everyone deserves to be
forgiven or recieve 2nd chances. Circumstances should dictate
forgiveness; it should be individual. There are people that have, to
put it crudely, fucked me over, and I don’t think that they deserve my
forgiveness. Hit me with the “but forgiveness doesn’t mean forgetting”
and “forgiveness is for you” crap and I might smack you. 
Bullshit. I’m just as happy harboring ill feelings as I would be
letting it go. It’s not as if I unhealthily obsess over it. Let them
know that I don’t like them; that they messed up so badly that they
lost my respect, my friendship, or whatever it may be. Even if it only
bothers them for one second, that’s one second where I let them know
the consequences of what they’ve done. I’m not going to let them give
that metaphorical sigh of relief when they realize that I’ve forgiven
them. Fuck that.

And, honestly, I hate people who like everyone. Who stand up for people
who are just horrible to others. I was watching a TV show this weekend
where this girl was supposed to be kind and giving and just the
all-around girl-next-door. She was one of those “everyone has some good” people. I wanted to punch her face in. I’m all for
people who are naturally sweet to everyone, it’s something I could
never do and I respect it, but when you know someone isn’t a nice
person, then why stick up for them? ESPECIALLY if someone is telling
you a story about how that person was mean to them that day. By
contradicting them you are invalidating their feelings.

I miss going to Blockbuster. I hope to work there this year. It would be an insane convenience for me.

This entry had about 1% fluidity to it.

I like it that way.

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