I am home, but I do not want to be. I feel emotionally barren; numb
without my machon 1 kids. In the beginning I was skeptical, cynical
even, about how our group would bond and how it would all work out. I
had no idea that these people would become my family. Last night when
the first flight left I cried for so long and so intensely that I
didn’t have anything left. It was awful, I didn’t feel whole without
them. I never want to go through that again. The rest of the machon 1
kids who were on the second flight all sat in my room and we just sat
there and realized how sucky it was to be there without them. I miss
them all so incredibly much, they made this hands down the best summer
of my entire life. I discovered my Jewish identity, I made a personal
connection to Israel, I found new parts of myself, and they were there
through all of it. I never want to be without them again. I remember on
special interest week how agonizing it was to be apart for those 4
days, so I can only guess at how hard it will hurt when I can’t see
them for almost an entire year. They all make me smile and make me so
happy. I’m so used to having them around all of the time that I just
feel so lonely right now. I wish I could describe in words accurately
what this trip was like to those who didn’t go on it, but I can’t. It
is such a large change and had such a deep affect on me that you simply
had to be there to fully grasp the concept. I hate being in the US, or
rather just not being in Israel, and I hate being 500 million hours
away from most of the people that I have grown to love like family over
these 5 1/2 weeks. We said basically how we felt at the candle circle,
but I just want to say thank you again for giving me the best
experience of my life, because it wouldn’t have been anything without
you all there with me. I love you.

Ma Lamala, Machon Echad. Mila.

p.s. For those of you that I have missed immensely over these weeks,
please, let’s be together so I can’t wallow in my sadness. Because I
obviously can’t be sad when I’m around you, DUH. (D Squared, I have
your Israeli pants, as requested.)

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14 thoughts on “”

  1. aaahahahhhhh.
    uccch.
    WHAT IS THIS??!!!!
    i want to fak some police.
    i love you so much and when i woke up this morning…i honestly did think, what is this? where is everyone? why is it 9 a.m. and i am not on a bus or somewhere cool in israel? aaahahha.

    Like

  2. ARIKA’S HOME ARIKA’S HOME ARIKA’S HOME ARIKA’S HOME ARIKA’S HOME ARIKA’S HOME ARIKA’S HOME ARIKA’S HOME ARIKA’S HOME ARIKA’S HOME ARIKA’S HOME ARIKA’S HOME ARIKA’S HOME ARIKA’S HOME ARIKA’S HOME ARIKA’S HOME ARIKA’S HOME ARIKA’S HOME ARIKA’S HOME ARIKA’S HOME ARIKA’S HOME ARIKA’S HOME ARIKA’S HOME ARIKA’S HOME ARIKA’S HOME ARIKA’S HOME ARIKA’S HOME ARIKA’S HOME ARIKA’S HOME ARIKA’S HOME ARIKA’S HOME ARIKA’S HOME ARIKA’S HOME ARIKA’S HOME ARIKA’S HOME ARIKA’S HOME ARIKA’S HOME ARIKA’S HOME ARIKA’S HOME ARIKA’S HOME ARIKA’S HOME ARIKA’S HOME ARIKA’S HOME ARIKA’S HOME ARIKA’S HOME ARIKA’S HOME ARIKA’S HOME ARIKA’S HOME ARIKA’S HOME ARIKA’S HOME ARIKA’S HOME ARIKA’S HOME ARIKA’S HOME ARIKA’S HOME ARIKA’S HOME ARIKA’S HOME ARIKA’S HOME ARIKA’S HOME ARIKA’S HOME ARIKA’S HOME.  I guess I missed you a little bit.  I’m so glad (and also jealous) that you had such an amazing time.  You did miss some vital Real Worlds & Laguna Beaches, but I guess I forgive you.  BYE.

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  3. dear lord, woman. what am i going to do with myself without your hilariously obvious sarcasm? (why, YES! that is EXACTLY what i meant) my house is so empty, so quiet…and my parents completely forgot to buy me harry potter. i knew they would. they never remember anything. my LJ is pisketty, by the way, but dont tell everyone.
    i love you more than life itself.
    FAK THE FAKIN POLICE
    FAK EM! FAK EM! (convulses while sickness walking)

    Like

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